Sidelines
by flamingflight
Summary: A bartender at the 'May you Live An Interesting Life' bar tells all!


Sidelines

By Max-chan

Author's Notes: Heh...heh...^_^...let's see who figures this out before the end...sometimes I can be so cruel...hehe...hahahahahaha...I'm sorry...:)...try to figure out the characters...

Disclaimers: Nothing mentioned here belongs to me. Ranma 1/2 definitely belongs to Rumiko Takahashi.

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You know I see a lot of crazy things in my life. Some more insane then others, but after all I've been through...I don't expect to get surprised much. Until I got that job as a bartender though, I never really saw anything to be dubbed shocking. I thought my life was hectic! Sheesh, the people and the things that I saw would make your ears burn for hours on end. I should have known by the name of the bar that things were going to be strange and abnormal. I mean who names their bars after a Chinese curse? 'May You Live An Interesting Life'? Who in the world names their bar that?

It didn't matter, though. I had to get this job or else my fiancee was going to kill me. I love my girl to pieces, but she could really be a harpy sometimes. Sometimes I just wanted to stuff a sock in her mouth and tell her to shut up. I swear, one of these days I'm going to go crazy and smack her or something...but then again...I'll probably end up as sidewalk paste before even laying a hand on her. Believe me, my girl has got one hell of an arm. Oh great now you got that goofy smile on my face again. I have got to learn to stop doing that when I think about her. Anyways, you want to hear my story or not?

Like I was saying, this bar was really odd and I was the night shift guy. There were only two bartenders and two waitresses even though this bar was huge. There was the day shift guy and the night shift guy. I was the night shift guy. The day shift guy was kind of odd so I tended to stay out of his way. He was really quiet and his eyes were always looking this way and that as though he expected you to steal his money or something. I asked him to take my shift one time and he totally exploded, ranting about the unfairness of life and how it had treated him. Needless to say, I didn't try that again. The two waitresses, Faye, Ed, and their little dog Ein. I asked the bossy and obviously health restrictions and child labor laws don't apply here. To be perfectly honest, I wasn't even sure what gender Ed was at first. They all seem to have dark pasts (even the dog Ein), but they don't let it get them down. I didn't ask them how they ended up at that strange bar and they didn't ask how I did. Strange enough, Faye with her lithe build flirted with everyone except me. I must admit my ego was quite put off. 

When asked though, she just looked at me with those rough, slanted, green eyes of hers and replied, "You're already taken. All of the good men left are."

That appeased my overbearing ego enough so that it no longer took offense at her aloofness. Edward is just plain odd. I prefer not to think about the 14-year old orange-haired girl much...ulcers aren't good to have.

But you're not here to hear about my co-workers, are you? You want to hear some good stories. Well, everyday at this damn bar is crazy, but somehow I manage to survive through it all. Some of the stories I'm about to tell you are sad, some are funny, and some may seem totally unbelievable, but believe me...it's all true. Every single little detail.

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There was this one time that jumps immediately to my mind. I was on my night shift after an extremely bad argument with my girl. I wasn't even sure I was going to come home that night. So, anyways, I'm sitting there with this pissed off look on my face that would scare even the freakin' creepy, day shift guy, and Faye nudges me on the shoulder. This woman enters and she seats herself on one of those back booths that people use when they don't want to get noticed. To be truthful, she looked sort of like someone I knew but I just couldn't place my finger on it. She had this really sad look on her face and it wasn't just a regular sort of sad look either, it was like one that would break a stranger's heart. It was like she lost everything in the world that mattered to her and nobody really cared. Exactly how I felt at the moment.

Ein goes over to take her order (I swear I don't know how the dog manages to do that!) and comes back to us with a note pinned to his collar that says the lady only wants a marguerite. Ah yes, the drink so the sophisticatedly depressed. So, I make her the drink and she sits there for hours as though she doesn't really want to leave. As though she didn't have anywhere to go. I knew the feeling all to well. I knew Faye noticed her too, but we both didn't say anything. It wasn't any of our business, we were just on the sidelines, after all.

Them, when we were starting to get up and close, this man bursts through the door. His hair's all messed up and he looks like he hasn't slept, ate, or shaved for days. He looks wildly around the bar before his eyes land on her. That look in his eyes...I'll never forget that look for as long as I live...it was like he finally got home...like things finally made sense in this crazy world of ours...like he was a dying man given one last chance to live. 

He walked over to the woman and even I could see that there were tears in her eyes.

"Oh, Yusaku," she mouths and in the next moment, he has her in his arms and it's not like he's letting go for anything. If you asked him at that moment to let her go for only one second or he'll die...I don't think he would have. 

He mouths something in her ear and she cries some more.

"Come on, Godai, let's go home," she says softly and you could tell in those words she just gave him back his life.

"I'm sorry, Kyoko, for everything...I just..."

"Shh, it's okay...let's just go back home..." she whispers, placing two fingers on his lips. They walk out and that's it. Nothing special, huh? Well, I went back home that night and apologized to my fiancee.

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Oh, so you want a more magical story? One fit for a book by Stephen King? Well, I don't know about the Stephen King part, but this one incident did leave me wondering. These two college kids had walked in on one of those rare nights where nothing strange had happened...yet. The girl was very pretty, in that I'm-cute-and-innocent-but-mess-with-me-and-you'll-get-your-butt-kicked-by-my-boyfriend-and-if-I-feel-like-it-I'll-kick-your-butt-too. Believe me, someone's appearance can say so much. Her boyfriend has this tough look in his eyes like he's 18 going on 65. Geez, someone should tell the kid to lighten up.

Anyways, they walk into the bar and they have a nice seat at one of the nice tables. Faye's the one to wait on them and strange enough, she didn't even try to flirt with the boy. I don't get it! He blushed like crazy when his girlfriend held his hand but staring at Faye's skimpy outfit didn't even faze him. I admit, my interest was piqued so I kept my eye on the couple.

"S-sakura," the kid stammered, taking his girlfriend's hand. "I-i...asked you h-here...for a reason..." He's going to propose, how sweet, I had thought.

"Yes, Syaoran?" the girl asked in her innocent voice. Even our dear Faye was at the edge of her seat to see the boy propose.

Suddenly, out of nowhere pops up this girl with a mini-camera and she sticks it in the boy's face. Where'd she come from? had been my only rational thought. And what was the deal with the camera.

"Wait, wait," the new girl with the camera says, "I need to do this at an angle. Hold on."

"Tomoyo-chan," the short-haired girl from before said as she started to blush. "I don't think this is the right time for-"

"Don't think you're gonna ask Sakura to marry you, kid!" a squeaky voice shouts and this...this... *thing* flies out of the first girl's pink book bag. I had absolutely no idea what in the world it was. It had wings and flew straight to the boy's face so that it was sharing room with the camera.

"Sakura, get your stuffed animal out of my face," the boy said.

"Who are you calling a stuffed animal?" the ting said before this light shot out of it and it turned to this...lion/beast thing. The lion growled before jumping on the kid and attacking it. I was too enthralled to do anything.

The short-haired girl named Sakura jumped up and tried to get the beast off of the angry boy while the girl called Tomoyo shot the whole thing with her camera.

"Kero-beros! You get off of my boyfriend this instant!" the girl shouted as she tried to pry the beast off the boy. Then, to top things off this winged, silver guy flys out of the girl's book bag and dusts himself off. I mean, what in the world? Where in the world did the girl get that bag? I really hoped she kept her receipt. 

"Yue!" Sakura yelled at the new arrival. "Help me get Kero-beros off of Syaoran!"

"Why don't you use the shock card?" Yue asked blandly. The what card?

"Good idea," the girl said. "Sorry, Kero, but you deserve this.

Before Sakura could do anything else, the camera girl had already pulled this outfit out from nowhere and yelled, "Ooh, ooh, Sakura-chan! Wear this outfit while you blast Kero!"

Ed decided at that moment to airplane over with Ein and start tugging at the beast's wings and laugh, "Hmmm...the wings are not fake...very strange Ein..."

Needless to say, after two hours of new arrivals, card transformations, and a whole lot of Kero bashing, the boy finally managed to propose to his girl. My proposal to my girl will never be as smoothly run out.

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Oh there are many, many more scenes I haven't mentioned yet. Like the time those schoolgirls changed into mini-skirts and disintegrated one of my customers. Of course, I had to charge them double for their pretzels, but that was okay. Or like that time I had to break up that fight between those giant robots that wanted to destroy each other for some world. Hey, I wasn't about to have them destroy that picture of my fiancee I kept by the bar. All different stories about different things...but one sticks out of my meory more then the rest.

I had been drying the counter when she entered. The girl was more beautiful then anything or anyone I had ever seen before (except my fiancee but that doesn't count since I love her). She had beautiful, long black hair that she tied back in a severe ponytail...but there had been something odd about her. Everyone noticed her the moment she walked in...even the boy Tenchi with the girls dangling from his arms. Maybe it was because she had that certain type of mysterious beauty that men just can't seem to resist...or maybe it was because of the sheer *presence* she presented. Whatever it was, we all couldn't keep our eyes off of her. She was slightly short and someone had gifted her with quite a lot of meat for her front. She wore some ancient Chinese clothes...the kind nobody wears anymore...and her dark eyes had this haunteds look to them.

It wasn't just t hat though. It was the way that she walked to the far end of the bar counter and sat on the stool. It was the way she moved and the way her hips swung.

I knew I wasn't imagining things when Faye said from beside me, "That ain't no woman."

"No," I had to agree almost sadly, "That is not a woman." 

People would have called us nuts. The person sitting at the end of the counter definitely had the body of a teenaged girl...but she sure as hell wasn't one. Very few would notice it, but she didn't have the subtle swing of the hips...the feminine aspect of the eyes...or the soft movement of the hands. No, this was a boy. A person who had been born as a male, raised as a male...and if I was given a choice to guess...had loved as a boy too. Jusynkuo, I thought, definitely Jusynkuo. I felt for the kid, I really did...and the girl *was* really beautiful...but I didn't go over. Mostly because of the familiar hard way her shoulders were set...and the way her head dropped and yet still managed to hold high...the girl was tough...

Obviously, one of the guys didn't know this because he decided it was okay to approach her. I could have warned him, could have told him he was just getting himself into a mess of trouble messing with her...but I didn't. He deserves whatever the girl...uh...boy has to dish. 

"Hey sweetheart, what's got you down?" the guys said. 

The girl didn't even answer him, didn't even bother to acknowledge his existence. Neither Faye nor I moved to assist the guy...he should have known by now that beautiful girls that looked like they had dark pasts should be left alone.

"Come on, aren't you even going to talk to me, doll-face?" the guy said, pushing himself closer to the girl.

"Get the hell away from me, you bastard," the girl growled menacingly and even I have to admit that my blood ran cold. I really didn't want them to ruin my new counter. Usually, at this moment I would have leapt to action to try and defend the girl's honor but after working here for so long I've learned that it's best to mind your own business and remain and observer.

The guy's friends laughed at the girl's rebuff and he seemed slightly miffed at this.

"Come on, girl," the idiot said, his voice close to her ear as he placed his hand on her thigh. "I'll make it worth your while."

I'm not quite sure what happened next, but I remember seeing the girl's face turn an odd shape of purple before the guy flew half-way across the room and slammed into the wall. Blood splattered out of his mouth and everyone stood up in shock. I looked back to see the girl standing there, seething and barely shaking with her fury.

"I'm not a girl!" she shouted before glancing around to see if anyone would dare to challenge her. The tension was thick in the air...but as always...I could count on Ed and Ein to break it.

Jumping up and down on the unconscious man's body, the young teenaged girl said, "Eww...man smell...right, Ein? Let's get him out of here." With that, she turned and flashed me one of her bright grins with two thumbs up before dragging the man out of the bar. Everyone settled down and the incident was forgotten just like all those before it.

The girl sat down and said nothing.

I watched her for awhile and I knew there was something about her. I wasn't attracted to her- no! Strange, but I no matter how beautiful or well defined a woman was, the only one I was attracted to was my loud-mouthed fiancee. Yet, there was something about the girl. Something that I felt akin to. I knew then and there that she was made of the same stuff I was made of...and if things had been different...and we had met under different circumstances...she and I could have become blood brothers. Oh well.

The second surprise we received that day was yet again in the form of another girl. This one I definitely found beautiful and attractive...especially since she looked so much like my own fiancee. She had dark blackish hair and dark eyes that I couldn't quite catch the color of. The girl looked around until she caught sight of the boy and when she did, she completely blew up. 

Stomping over to him, she screamed, "You baka! Why'd you run out on us like that? Do you know how much you worried everyone?"

"Go away," was all the other girl said. 

Hearing something like hurt in the other girl's voice, the one in the school uniform asked cautiously, "What's wrong?"

"I said go away, you stupid tomboy!" the boy-turned-girl said. I could see the girl in the uniform visibly move back in hurt.

"W-what? If this is about what I said-"

"Yes, it is about what you said!" the first girl shouted as she stood up, her eyes flashing. "Why don't you leave if that's all I am to you!"

"W-what?" the schoolgirl stumbled backwards.

The boy-turned girl was on a roll now and she wasn't going to stop.

"A girl! That's all I am to you, right?" she sneered. "Of course you can't marry a girl!"

"Marry?" the schoolgirl asked, stumbling back again. She, obviously, did not expect that subject to come up.

"What's going on? What's wrong with you?" the girl started to shout. Now, she was angry.

"Don't act like you don't know! You're disgusted by me! You would rather be with anybody else then me! You know what? Everybody keeps saying how their lives would be so much simpler if I was gone so that's what I did...I'm leaving!" With that, the girl turned around and started to do just that. The schoolgirl gathered her wits and grabbed the boy-turned-girl's elbow. 

"I'm sorry," she said, her voice soft and sincere...if not slightly shaky.

"I...I didn't mean to say those things...it just came out...I was scared...and jealous..."

"Jealous? Of who?" the boy-turned-girl said, turning around in surprise.

"You know...*her*. You knew her so much longer then me and you even loved her longer. I thought...now that everything's calm and she stopped hating you and trying to kill you...you would fall in love with her again..."

"What? How could you think that? I already told you...I never loved her *that* way...it was just friendship at the most..." the boy-turned girl said.

The school-girl ran up and hugged the other girl before starting to cry slightly, "I know...it's just...I was scared."

I could tell even from my spot behind the counter that those words were harder for the girl to say then anything.

Then, surprising us all, the boy-turned-girl whispered in the other girl's dark hair, "I love you."  
Even greater to our surprise, the girl whispered back, "I know...I love you too. Just don't...run away again."

They just held each other like that for awhile and I could hear tough Faye sniffling beside me. 

"Do you think life would be less crazy after this?" the schoolgirl asked.

"You know it wouldn't," the boy-turned-girl laughed before turning to me.

"A kettle of hot water, right?" I said, producing one from below the counter.

"How?" the girl started to say, but I cut her off as I handed them the kettle. "Let's just say I know people."

The girl gave me a smile and the couple left. 

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I guess that isn't much, but I'll never forget it. I walked home that night thinking about how insane the world can be sometimes. About how no matter what happens in the bar, it's always a place where people manage to either get their problems solved...or worsened. Cheers, eat your heart out.

When I reached home, I could see the lights still on and the sound of crashes could be heard. It was raining that night...I remember...a horrible, terrible storm and the crazy house didn't look that inviting...

...but there was my girl standing on the porch...

...with a kettle of hot water in her hands...

...and a smile on her face...

I'll still remember her exact words that night, "Hurry up, baka, you're going to catch a cold in that rain. Sometimes I don't know why I bother, Ranma Saotome."

And everyone wonders why I love Akane Tendo so much.

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Author's Notes: :) Tada! Surprise!


End file.
